ONLINE TALKSHOW: PARENTS – THE HIDDEN HEROES
Hanoi, July 10th 2021 – World Vision Vietnam, in cooperation with Ministry of Culture, Sport and Tourism and Management and Sustainable Development Institute (MSD), organized the Online talkshow with the topic “Parents – The hidden heroes: Conflict is Zero, Conflict handling is Hero”. This event is a part of the annual program “Parents – The hidden heroes” hosted by World Vision Vietnam.
Being one of the sector of the campaign “It Takes A World – Ending violence to children in family and school” launched by World Vision Vietnam in 2017, “Parents – The hidden heroes” is an initiative that encourages and promotes the materialization of parts of the society with the aim of creating a safe and positive environment for children where they can grow up in a thorough way. In 2021, World Vision Vietnam cooperate with MSD in implementing the online seminar series
At any age, adults and children may encounter troubles and these troubles are mainly about the relationships in real life. To adults, handling conflict is such a challenge but to children, this is even harder. In these situations, what children need the most is the sharing, listening and companion from parents. The talkshow “Parents – The hidden heroes: Conflict is Zero, Conflict handling is Hero” focuses on sharing the perspectives and ways with parents and caregivers so that they can support children to encounter and behave in a proper and effective way when handling conflicts in life. The event is also a chance for parents to conceive clearly the role, influence on how children react to the conflict, from that parents may adjust attitude, actions and words in order to contribute to the future of children, where love, cooperation respect always exist.
The talkshow “Parents – The hidden heroes was attended by:
The talkshow was coordinated by Ms. Nguyen Phuong Linh – Director of MSD.
Handling conflict in the family: The listening from parents is necessary
With the experience from more than 20 years working as a person who listen, receive and untangle the troubles of children, journalist Hoang Anh Tu said that conflicts in family are popular. He said: ” In any period of time, even now or the past, the conflicts inside the family are the same. Many parents shared that the conflicts they and their parents encountered are the same as those they and children now are undergoing. Many young people send letters to me and share that “Why parents do not listen to me?”, “Why parents do not believe in me?”, “Why they do not understand me?”,… We used to be children and we had experienced the pressure the arguing with parents but now we are encountering this problem with our children. Of course, this comes from love, however, it has led many parents to the overwhelming fear, pressure and they forget to listen to their children. We want our child to be happy but they only feel happy if we are happy. The way we happy with what we have may affect the happiness of children. Somebody don’t know that, sometimes children do not need anything but the presence and listening from parents.
(Journalist Hoang Anh Tu)
Ms. Phan Thi Kim Lien offered some suggestions about ways to handle conflicts in the family. She said: “Parents should not consider children’s conflicts as the Zero because children are more sensitive than us. The first thing we should do is to take care when children have any problem, find out what the problem is and support them. After that, when clearly comprehending the problem, parents consider that they should solve the conflict with the child or let them do it themselves. Parents should build a closed relationship with the kids with small actions such as speaking of love, telling sorry, asking them. These actions are simple but they may bring about remarkable impacts since closed relationship and trust are the big motivation for children.”
Ms. Lien also emphasized: “When parents get fury, they should stop handling the conflict but be calm and wait for suitable time to listen and solve the problem. We should consider the emotion of children to find out the best way to talk with them more thorough.”
(Ms. Phan Thi Kim Lien – Protecting Children Program Manager, World Vision Vietnam)
From the perspective of governing body, Mr. Khuat Van Quy – Deputy Director of Family Affairs, Ministry of Culture, Sport and Tourism shared: “When live develops, more conflict will appear. Family members are equal and have the same rights, children also have the right to participate as their parents. However, nowadays, many parents, especially parents in the remote areas, they do not have the chance to approach the parenting education. Therefore, we have set the goals for the quantity of parents approaching the information and instruction to become parents, therein we have some documents that put forward the ways to create ways to build a relationship with children or how to talk and to instruct children. In order to support children and solve the problems in the family, Family Affairs has implemented the programs such as Family System Education in which there are documents for children under 6; Documents about behavior criteria in the family; Children education research,… Besides, Family Affairs also cooperate with related parties to implement other protecting children programs.”
According to Mr. Quy, being parents is the same as playing kites, if the string is to tied, the kite cannot fly high, but if we let the string off, the kite will fly away. To what scale should we hold the string and how to adjust the kite is what parents should learn and practice everyday, especially when they encounter a conflict.
(Mr. Khuat Van Quy – Deputy Director of Ministry of Culture, Sport and Tourism)
Ms. Nguyen Phuong Linh concluded the first part of the talkshow: “We have to accept that conflicts in family, perception and generation gaps are natural. There is conflicts, there is development. Parents should accompany children and should not ignore children’s conflict, but we should not handle them in an extreme way. Instead, we should keep calm and accompany children to find out a suitable solution. Being parents, the manuscript here is very simple, that is to spend more time with children interacting, listening and asking children for opinions when there is conflict and together with them to find out solution. These actions may create remarkable influence the kids and help them to solve the problems that they may encounter in the social relationship.”
(Ms. Nguyen Phuong Linh – Director of MSD)
Handling conflict: Children is the one who reflect parents
In the 2nd part of the talkshow, speakers shared the ways parents should instruct children to solve the conflict in the social relationship. All speakers agreed that the way parents solve the conflict will orient the way children react to other conflict in life.
Journalist Hoang Anh Tu emphasized: “While some parents consider children’s problem childishness, someone exaggerate it and that has led to some situations that parents cope with children’s problem in a negative way. When we solve the problem with a hot-tempered attitude and not proper words or even violence, what can children learn from us? Kids are the “copy” our ourselves and they are the mirror that reflects our images.”
From that, he gave the advice: “Parents should pay attention to kids and they should not lose the connection between them and children. Only when they really put their child on their minds, they can easily realize the problem that the kids are suffering, even when they do not share anything. Since then, family is not only the “a safe house” but it is also a place where love is raised and children will be equipped with skills to comprehensively develop. Love and respect are the key in the companionship with children.”
Parental companionship becomes more essential in the complex context of the COVID-19 pandemic as online learning gradually becomes familiar to children. According to a study by the United Nations Children’s Fund UNICEF (2020), the world currently has more than 1.5 billion children and young people affected by school closures, which includes having to face many risks of disagreement and cyberbullying.
“Children today have access to many streams of information from the Internet, which significantly affects children’s thoughts, actions and attitudes, especially when there is no timely attention, orientation, and correction of children. parents and caregivers of children. An expression, an accidental comment on a social network can all become a cause of conflict,” said Ms. Phan Thi Kim Lien.
Ms. Lien added: “Conflicts in the online environment are sometimes much more complicated and difficult to handle than in real life because at this time, conflicts not only revolve around two people but also involve other Internet users. We even need to look at the fact that sometimes our own children will be bullies, initiating and participating in “wars” on social networks. In that situation, first of all, we should not try to avoid pressing, criticizing your children. Find out why your child wants to badmouth friends, hit friends and advise your child not to get involved in arguments. How to ask your child is also very important. The tone will also determine how we express our attitudes. Parents when accompanying their children, should educate their children to behave civilly in the online environment.”
With the same opinion as Ms. Lien, Mr. Khuat Van Quy further suggested to parents: “If you want to really accompany your child, parents should put themselves on an equal footing with the child, then the child will feel free to share their problems, both in real life and online. Making friends and accompanying children on social networks is difficult and takes time, but we can start by keeping our self-images not offensive or negative; interact, comment with your child and even his friends; find out the programs and applications online that your child likes; learn the language your child’s age uses, and also talk to your child about what to do or not to do online. Most importantly, parents themselves also need to build a standard digital life for themselves to motivate their children to become civilized Internet users.”
The speakers then interacted to comment and share tips and experiences with the audience about handling different conflict situations with their children in the family, with friends and even on the internet. Temporarily closing the discussion, Mrs. Nguyen Phuong Linh sent the message: “Be friends with your child as soon as you are young, and as soon as you can. Respecting, listening, sharing, and being willing to apologize and learn from children is essential to create a foundation of love and trust and connection between parents and children. The behavior of parents and children through positive and effective conflict resolution will help children grow up in a healthy way, develop a civilized, open mind and overcome conflicts and difficulties. difficulties in life.”
From July to September 2021, World Vision Vietnam and MSD Vietnam will continue to bring interesting and useful content through monthly online seminars, helping to promote practical action. from different segments of society in a joint effort to prevent violence and keep all children safe.
Watch again the talkshow at: https://www.facebook.com/www.msdvietnam.org/videos/531667708049306
About World Vision Vietnam:
World Vision is a Christian humanitarian and relief organization with a mission to improve the quality of life for communities, especially poor children in remote areas. World Vision serves everyone, regardless of religion, race, ethnicity or gender. World Vision has been present in Vietnam since 1988. Since then, World Vision has cooperated with the Government, people of Vietnam, and other international NGOs in implementing rescue programs. Support, development and policy advocacy in communities are still facing many difficulties. World Vision’s long-term development programs are being implemented in 37 districts in 18 provinces and cities across the country.
About Management and Sustainable Development Institute (MSD)
As a Vietnamese NGO, MSD strives to act for a favorable development environment for the development of social organizations and promote the realization of rights of marginalized and marginalized community groups. vulnerable groups, especially children, young people, women and people with disabilities. Currently, MSD is recognized as a leading organization in coordinating, supporting and providing capacity building, training and consulting services to civil society organizations in Vietnam. In addition, MSD is also a professional organization that effectively responds to the needs and protects the rights of disadvantaged communities, including promoting gender equality, through programs, projects and provision of services. services to support children, young people, women, immigrants and people with disabilities, etc. in Vietnam.
World Vision Vietnam: Ms. Ngo Thu Tra | Senior Officer in Communication and Press Relation
Email: firstname.lastname@example.org Tel: (+84) 911.420.880
MSD Vietnam: Ms. Chu Thu Hà | Event and Communication Manager
Email: email@example.com Tel: (+84) 852.577.220